Friday, February 17, 2012

And the winner is . . .

Obviously I am a huge fan of the NHL. However, I think the Academy Awards have always been my favorite award show. I don't always agree with the winners, or nominees for that matter, but they are big, fancy and star-laden

With the trade deadline and Oscar season just around the corner I thought it would be apt to do a post on whom the ``Best Picture`` Nominees of the NHL season so far would be:


The Artist Steven Stamkos currently leads the NHL with 39 goals. Watching him tee it up on the PP is a thing of beauty.  However, his art work is hidden by the neon glow of the Lightning`s horrid season.



The Descendants – I could have went a lot of ways on this, but let’s talk about the son paying for the sins of the father. Pierre Gauthier walked into one of the worst situations in the NHL. It was Gainey who brought Gomez, Cammalleri, Gionta and gave away some of their better prospects. Pierre Gauthier has only signed Erik Cole and Campoli and traded for Lars Eller, Dustin Boyd and Kaberle.

I think Gauthier has the potential to be one of the best GMs once he gets out from under Gainey's mess, which could be another three years. Odds are the impatient and Hab fans won`t allow that. They prefer heads to be rolling as they continue their spiral into irrelevance (see 1970s Yankees).

The two other teams he has been the GM of was the Senator team that made the playoffs for 10 straight years and went to the Cup Finals. The other team was the Ducks that beat the Sens. He laid the ground work that allowed Murray to win the Cup there.  Too bad Montreal won`t let it happen. Perhaps he would fair better in Columbus. (Note: This film was just edged out by Midnight in Paris for my favorite film of the year. It is probably a much better made movie, with remarkable performances and writing that is genuinely gut-wrenching at times. If you haven't seen it please give it shot with an open-mind. Put yourself in Clooney's shoes and you are in for a treat).

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close – It doesn`t matter where you go in the NHL. You will always see or here Brian Burke. For better or worse. Blustery McLiar is sadly one of the biggest “personalities” in the game. 

In addition to being loud B2 is also incredibly close to having his Maple Leaf's make the playoffs which could knock the earth off its axis if it were to happen. 

Interestingly this is the movie that interests me the least of all the nominees. 

The Help Henrik Sedin has led the NHL in assists for the past two years now and is gunning for his third. He is on pace to play in every game, again, for the sixth straight year.

Hugo – For this one to work you need to understand the context of the film. “Hugo is an orphan boy living in the walls of a train station in the 1930s in Paris. He fixes clocks and other gadgets as he learned to from his father and uncle. The only thing that he has left that connects him to his father is an automaton that doesn't work; Hugo has to find its heart-shaped key.”
Ken Hitchcock had a change of heart two years ago. He rebuilt himself from the inside out to better relate and communicate with players. He took the job in St. Louis and has led them to the best winning percentage since the day he was hired. Ken is Hugo.

Midnight in Paris – Again it doesn’t make sense unless you have seen the film. A quick overview suggests, “A writer visits Paris with his fiancĂ© and her parents. He longs for 1920s Paris with all of his heros lived and ruled the day. The film questions was it better back then or is it a human flaw to constantly long for a time before our own.” Ray Whitney put the ‘Yotes on his back and is doing his own midnight runs in Paris. That is to say he has made the league feel like it did 10 years ago when he was racking up 76 points with the Blue Jackets. Interestingly, the least impressive part of this film, that I love, is an actress that I adore. Rachel McAdams is wasted in this movie which is interesting seeing as Woody Allen reportedly wrote the role for her.

Moneyball – This is a very easy one for me. It is the simply the entire Central Division. This division is led by the Nashville Predators who are currently spending $722,449 salary per point in the standings. The best in the league. However, the frugal St. Louis Blues are second overall at $786,527 per point with their rivals Detroit Red Wings holding on to third with $812,662 and the Chicago Blackhawks are 9th with $907,272 salary per point. Talk about efficiency and success. The Preds have the third lowest payroll in the NHL, but are looking at another playoff run. None of the other teams are even in the top half of the league in payroll. For a point of contrast the only team that is in the top half of the league in payroll is Columbus Blue Jackets. Tragically, or hilariously, they are dead last in salary spent per point at $1,746,500.


Sadly the highlight of the season so far for the CBJ fanbase.


The Tree of Life - The impressionistic story of a Texas family in the 1950s. The film follows the life journey of the eldest son, Jack, through the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as he tries to reconcile a complicated relationship with his father. Jack finds himself a lost soul in the modern world, seeking answers to the origins and meaning of life while questioning the existence of faith. Rick Nash always wanted to make things work in Columbus. He has been the good soldier. However, he is now questioning his faith. Rumour is he is hoping for a trade, the Jackets are trying to facilitate it. However, how long can Columbus survive without a legitimate superstar AND not winning. Perhaps we’ll find out.

War Horse PavelDatsyuk gets the nod here. He is the only Wing in the top 35 in league scoring. While injuries and mediocre performances (obviously not including Jimmy Howard or Nicklas Lidstrom) should have slowed the Wings, it hasn’t been the case.  They currently lead the league in points and have set an NHL record for consecutive home wins.

What do you think? Did I miss a tap-in or did I bang in a goal to complete the Gordie Howe Hat Trick. Let me know! 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Superbowl Soul Ads! Tugging at the heart strings is more effective than on the genitals.

Every year the Superbowl is host to some ads that just blow me away. My personal favorite is the donkey who dreams of being a Clydesdale. I am not too proud to admit that this one has caused me to tear up on occasion.



I think this year's crop south of the border was particularly weak. Take a look below and let me know your thoughts, but it seems like a boatload of wasted dough to me.



I am a red-blooded male, but I can't stand a constant barrage of ads aimed at the lowest common denominator. I think companys would do well to look at some of the counter programming other stations put on to understand how to stand out. Sure you are still targeting people watching football, but "NEWSFLASH" probably only 1 in 3 are actually huge football fans. Otherwise they'd tune in every week.

Interestingly, it appears one of the best ads ran North of the Border. Check it out.



I can't believe how staged this was or wasn't. However, it certainly worked. Once, again Budweiser pull it off. My question to you is . . . does anyone do Superbowl ads better than this terrible tasting beer?

Friday, February 3, 2012

Who is Ovie? Drew or Lindsay?

Lost in all this commotion about Sidney Crosby and his concussion, neck injury, mis-diagnosis has been the amazing vanishing act of Alex Ovechkin. On pace of a staggering 64 points he has become a shell of his former goal-scoring, body-checking, highlight-reel-making, human stick of dynamite. Calling him a shell is tough seeing as he is actually fatter than ever in addition to his underachieving.

Everyone assumes he will be back. That he is hurt and will heal, he is burnt out and will rebound. However, even with THAT much talent, nothing is guaranteed in the NHL. Just like in Hollywood. The question is how will this story end? Is AO Drew Barrymore or Lindsay Lohan?

For brevity sake I am hoping that you know their life stories. If not understand this. Both were perceived to be immensly talented. Both encountered drugs, trouble with the law and were early flameouts. Drew was almost destroyed, but has bounced back to being bigger, stronger and richer than she ever was see here . Lindsay well . . . see here .

Can Ovie Score 60 again? Will Lindsay Lohan ever look younger than 60 again?

So here is a quick and dirty scenario where Ovie's career could end up matching the professional life either starlet.

Ovie = Drew

After taking time during the All Star break and his current suspenion Ovechkin comes back strong in the second half of the season. He leads the Capitals to the playoffs and right into the Conference finals where he falls to the Bruins in Game 6 at home.

In the offseason he regroups. He moves in with Vladislav Tretiak and comes to camp ripped, ready and rockin' again. He charisma reappears. He leads the league in goals and plus minus. His play propels Nicklas Backstrom to be the league MVP. Within three years the Capitals win the Stanley Cup and his rivalry with Crosby is restored through several playoff battles. Then NHL sees rating climb and as a result is forced to allow NHL players to play in the next Olympics to placate AO. The Caps are a juggernaut and Alex is a beloved mega-star again.


Which way to the buffet?

Ovie = Lindsay

Ovechkin spends the All Star break and suspension in Las Vegas. He is hooked up to rotating IVs of vodka and turkey fat. After a 37 hour blackjack marathon he waddles to his limo. Heads to the airport where he punches the driver, slaps a flight attendant and urinates in a fans lap. The NHL brushes it off citing the stress due to his suspension. He spends the rest of the year cruising the neutral zone and cracking jokes about Dale Hunter. The offseason is spent in Japan signing autographs and living of Tempura Snickers bars.

He arrives at camp heavy again and collapses during the walk up the stairs to complete his baseline tests. He is suspended by the team. He gets nailed on a DUI, a shocking turn as he has had a sparkling criminal record to this point. He refuses assignment to the AHL for a conditioning stint. Has another run in with the law. Finishes the season with 37 points. As the Olympics in Russia get closer he announces his intention to play. The NHL digs their heels in and an eventual lawsuit breaks out. Finally, it is solved out of court, but while in his homeland he is signed by a KHL team. Another messy lawsuit takes place. Once it is finalized Ovechkin continues his career in the KHL. He has a solid, but unspectacular career there and never plays another NHL game again?

Who do you think Ovechkin is?

Erik Christensen traded and you care because . . .

So Erik Christensen was traded to the Minnesota Wild today. There are only two reasons you care.

One is that you are so trade hungry any and every move seems huge at this time of year. We are on the precipice of another trade deadline and people are wired for that.

The second reason is that you think this could be the time that Christensen finally figures it out. (I guess a third reason would be that you are a Minnesota Wild fan, Cliff Fletcher or Erik Christensen himself, but I am guess that you are none of these people).


I doubt a 20 point guy is going to vault the Wild into the playoffs.

The reason it doesn't matter is this. Sure you know EC. Sure you know he can be a valuable player. For some reason he kept popping up on your radar and you think. Hey this is it. He will put it together in Minny.



No. He won't. Here is why. He is the Matthew Lillard of the NHL. Lillard was in a few good movies. He was even a scene stealer in the first Scream. However, if you rewatch the movie several times, as I have, you will notice he is just the only guy with any charisma or decent dialogue in a movie of under actors. Nevd Campbell, Skeet Ulrich I am looking at you.


The joke's on you if you think this trade will put Erik Christensen on the map.

You ran across him in Hackers, in Thirteen Ghosts, Summer Catch, She's All That and Scooby Doo if you have children. You can pick him out of a police line-up if necessary (surprisingly it hasn't been necessary yet). You always think of him as a good actor. He seems like a good guy. However, I am guessing the latter is more accurate than the former. Why. He hasn't cracked the A-List yet. Hell, the B-List for that matter. I saw him recently, with toned down charisma in the phenomenal movie The Decendants. I left the theatre and said to Wife, "Man, he was solid. Understated. Maybe this will be his coming out party." She replied, "No, he is still just Matthew Lillard." I am betting she is right.

Christensen has been around some great teams (Penguins just before the Stanley Cup runs), Anaheim just after their Cup runs). However, he has never had a productive season. He topped out at 33 points . . . with the offensive Penguins. You think the defensive-minded Minny is going to fix that.

I have to say, "No, he is just Erik Christensen."